


Let Me Love You

by Sweetgirl2019



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Declarations Of Love, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-19
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-10-31 14:00:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17850848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweetgirl2019/pseuds/Sweetgirl2019
Summary: A few weeks have passed after the drive in. When Alex reaches out to him, Michael tries to fix everything that's broken.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> I've watched a lot of shows growing up but I can't remember the last time I was so invested in a new ship like I am with MALEX. Amazing chemistry between actors and great writing does that. Best ending for a couple I can think of would be Dawson's Creek (huge PJ fan when I was a kid!). Really hope this show is renewed for a second season and Michael & Alex reunite. Their love story is beautiful and important and the way they have been set up screams epic.

One

 

               Michael took a sip of his beer and glanced at the open space around his trailer. Stretching out in his lawn chair, he felt his phone vibrate as another text from Maria came through. He took a few moments to finish his beer before lifting his phone.

                **_Are we hanging out tonight after shift, Hot Stuff?_**

Michael smirked at the text and shook his head. Maria was fun and he liked hanging out with her. She came with zero drama and a free-spirit personality he found refreshing.

                **_Sure_**

                Lowering his phone, he leaned back in his chair and glanced up at the night sky. Sometimes, when he spent time alone staring at the vastness above him, his thoughts would turn towards Max and Isobel and their home, where they had come from and if they would ever find their way back. Other times, his mind would wander into the past. Closing his eyes, he released a quiet sigh as a memory washed over him.

 

                *****

_“It’s so beautiful and peaceful out here,” 17 year old Alex exclaimed, staring up at the starry night sky as they sat together in the back of Michael’s truck._

_“Yeah, you are,” Michael breathed out, staring at the boy who owned his heart._

_Alex slowly turned towards him, a rare smile covering his boyishly handsome face. Before he could lean all the way in, Michael closed the distance and pressed their lips together. Coaxing his lover’s mouth open, Michael pressed his tongue inside and savoured the moan Alex released._

_“Come here,” he pleaded, tugging on Alex until the other boy was straddling his legs, pushing firm against him._

_Michael wrapped his arms tight around the single thing he loved most in the world._

_“You and me, sweetheart,” he whispered._

_Alex rewarded him with another smile before leaning in and kissing him hard, his fingers massaging Michael’s scalp and tugging at his curls. They kissed for several long minutes until Michael’s hands traveled south and opened Alex’s belt._

_“Let me make you feel good,” he said, smiling softly as he took in the dilated pupils staring back at him._

_Alex pressed his lips to his lover’s neck and released a shaky breath as Michael reached inside to touch him._

_*****_

Opening his eyes, Michael glanced beside him to find the chair to his right empty. Sitting forward, he rubbed the tiredness from his eyes as the ache inside his chest grew from the memory. When his phone pinged again, he sighed and glanced down, freezing at the single word text.

                **_Hi_**

It was the first contact Michael had received from Alex since a few weeks ago at the drive in, when the two had fought and Alex had walked away. He remembered waking up that morning, unable to mask the happiness he had felt at discovering Alex had stayed the night, pressing soft kisses against Michael’s skin to rouse him. Everything had been perfect until Isobel arrived.

                Quickly sitting up, his fingers ran across the text before replying **_Hi_**. He released the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding when the second text came through.

                **_Can we talk?_**

                Michael’s heart fluttered at the words, a sense of hope and longing filling him. A small part of him wanted to send a detached, snappy response to keep the walls around his heart intact but the part of him that yearned for Alex outweighed everything else.

                **_When?_**

                The response was immediate.

                **_Half an hour at the Wild Pony?_**

                Michael hesitated for a moment as he suddenly remembered Maria was on shift. It was a risky move, but the truth was he didn’t know why Alex was seeking him out. Maybe he just wanted to make amends and ask to be friends? Michael’s heart sank at the thought.

                **_Unless you’re busy?_**

                **_No, not busy_ ,** he quickly replied. **_I’ll be there soon_**

Jumping up, he rushed inside the trailer, ripped off his shirt and applied an extra amount of deodorant before slipping on a black tee to match his tight, dark jeans. Glancing into the small mirror above his sink, he ran his hands through his hair to tame his curls before giving up and making his way to his truck outside. Alex always loved his curls anyway.

                As he peeled down the road, his mind went over all the ways the situation was wrong. His choices in life weren’t always the best but when it came to Alex, all logic tended to disappear. He could only feel, and he felt so much for the man he had loved since they were seventeen. He’d never been able to deny him anything. Switching on the radio, he blasted the loud music through his speakers to stop his nerves from taking over.

                Three songs later, he found himself parked in the lot behind the Wild Pony, fingers gripping the steering wheel tight. Grateful that the lot was full, he quickly walked across the gravel, hoping to run into Alex before anyone else noticed him. _Before Maria_ , his mind supplied but he pushed the thought away.

                Schooling his features to a more neutral expression, he sauntered through the front doors and was hit by a sudden wave of laughter and music. Standing in the far corner, his eyes scanned the occupants before landing on Maria behind the bar. A pang of guilt filled him as he watched her laugh with one of the regulars.

                “Hi Guerin,” a voice he would recognize anywhere greeted him quietly.

                All other thoughts vacated his mind as he spun around to face the person his body, heart and soul yearned for. Seeing Alex for the first time in weeks left him speechless. Alex took the moment to appreciate Michael’s appearance before he cleared his throat and leaned against his crutch. Taking a deep breath to steady his fluttering heart, he watched as Michael’s gaze caressed over his figure before pausing at his lips and ending at his eyes. Alex tugged at the collar of his dark green flannel and met the intense gaze.

                “I want to apologize,” he began, a sad smile forming on his lips. “I shouldn’t have said what I did at the drive in and I shouldn’t have walked away like that. Hell, I shouldn’t have ruined our morning together when Isobel showed up.”

                Michael tried his hardest to keep his expression neutral despite the desperate urge he felt to reach out and pull the other man into his arms.

                “Seeing you again after ten years, I didn’t think my feelings would hit me so hard, but they did. They hit me like a tidal wave,” Alex said before looking down. “What I feel for you scares me. It’s always scared me.”

                Michael’s eyes softened as he took a step forward, unable to stand the distance any longer.

                “You don’t have to be afraid.”

                Alex looked up with wet eyes. “I’m so sorry, Michael.”

                Michael’s breath caught in his throat at the first mention of his name from Alex’s lips in over a decade.

                “There’s so much I want to apologize for. I had you again and I let you go,” he added before glancing around them at the lively crowd. “Can we talk outside?”

                Before he could nod in agreement, two slender arms snaked around his waist and the sudden change in Alex’s expression made Michael freeze.

                “Hey, Hottie” Maria said with a laugh, leaning up on her toes to rest her chin over Michael’s shoulder from behind. “I didn’t think you’d show up so soon.”

                Noticing her friend, her smile widened.

                “Hi Alex.”

                The hurt in Alex’s eyes broke Michael’s heart while an oblivious Maria held onto him. Alex quickly masked his pain and turned to her with a small smile.

                “Hey, Maria. I was just asking Guerin some mechanical advice on my truck. I ran into him here, figured I’d ask,” he lied, avoiding Michael’s gaze.

                “Well, if anyone can fix it, Guerin can,” Maria laughed. “You sticking around? I don’t see you as often as I’d like.”

                “No, I have to get back. I have an early day at the base tomorrow,” he replied, backing away from them unsteadily.

                Tears began to well in Michael’s eyes as he watched him move towards the door.

                “Are you OK?” Maria asked with a frown, stepping away from Michael.

                “I’m good, everything’s good,” Alex lied, offering a smile that never reached his eyes. “I’ll see you around.”

                Without waiting for a reply, he pushed his way through the crowd and limped outside. Maria turned to Michael to comment but stopped when she noticed the wrecked look in his eyes.

                “What’s going on?”

                “Nothing, I’ll be right back.”

                Rushing out the doors, he found Alex standing beside his truck near the end of the lot, a shaky hand raised towards his handle.

                “Wait!” he shouted, running around to face him.

                Alex quickly turned away to hide his tears, but Michael saw the damage and pulled him in.

                “Baby, please don’t cry,” he pleaded, the unfiltered words spilling out of him as his hands locked behind Alex’s neck, holding him tight. “I’m sorry! I never should have started anything with her. All I want is you.”

                Alex managed to pull away from Michael’s grasp, leaning against his door and furiously wiping at his face.

                “I don’t know why I’m crying. I have no right to be upset. I’m the one that ended things. I’m the one who walked away,” he reminded himself before taking an unsteady breath. “It’s good that you’re with her. She’s amazing.”

                “Alex, I care about her, but it doesn’t come close. Nothing could ever come close,” Michael begged, stepping between his legs and pressing their foreheads together.

                Alex closed his eyes, allowing himself a moment of weakness as Michael wrapped his strong arms around him. They stayed that way for a few seconds, breathing each other in before Michael leaned back, his hand lifting to Alex’s cheek in a gentle caress. The sudden sound of music as a group walked into the bar pulled Alex back to reality and he quickly pushed Michael away.

                “It doesn’t matter. It’s too late. I’m too late,” he shook his head and put a step of space between them.

                “It’s not too late. Please, let’s just go somewhere and talk.”

                “She’s an amazing person. You guys will be great together. I’ll be fine, really,” Alex rambled before limping past Michael and opening his car door.

                Hesitating for a second, he met Michael’s gaze a final time.

                “Just be good to her,” he whispered before climbing in and driving away.

                Michael ran his hands through his hair as he helplessly watched him go. Angrily wiping at his own tears, he spun around to see Maria staring at him from a few feet away, realization written on her face.

                “You’re the boy he loved in high school, aren’t you?”

                Exhaustion winning out, he sagged against the closest car and sighed, dropping all his usual bravado and confidence. “Yeah.”

                “Wow,” she said in disbelief. “The way he would talk about the relationship back then, I knew it was serious, but he kept so much to himself. I could never get a name out of him. To think it was you all along.”

                Michael looked away at her words, staring off in the direction Alex had disappeared in. The ache in his chest felt like it had on graduation night ten years ago, the worst night of his life when Alex had ended things between them. It felt as painful now as it was back then.

                “Michael,” she called his name, forcing him to look at her. “Please tell me.”

                “When we came together when we were seventeen, there was this raw hunger and desire between us that I couldn’t even begin to explain but there was tenderness and warmth too. Being with him, loving him, it felt right in a way that nothing else in my life ever has.”

                 Maria took a moment to absorb his words. Gone was the sarcastic and flirty Michael Guerin she was used to. In front of her stood a heartbroken man, one she was seeing clearly for the first time.

                “Have the two of you connected since he came back?”

                He nodded slowly and opened his eyes. “We kissed at the reunion, but he pulled away from me. When I moved my trailer, he came by and it was like I could finally breathe again.”

                He released a harsh laugh before recounting the morning at his trailer and their argument at the drive in.

                “Three perfect nights, that’s all I got. His dad showed up at the drive in and screwed with his mind like always and next thing I knew, he called me a criminal and that was it.”

                Maria stayed silent as he spoke, trying her best to hold her own emotions at bay.

                “I’m sorry, Maria.”

                Releasing a deep sigh, she took a small step towards him.

                “I hate that you started something with me knowing that Alex was one of my closest friends. I don’t know if you did it to spite him or maybe you didn’t think it would hurt him at all but either way, you _did_ hurt him, Michael. It’s obvious that he’s hurt you too.”

                “Maria…,” he started but she held her hand up.

                “I care about you, Michael. I do and I’m hurt by this,” she said, allowing her sadness to show. “But I _love_ Alex. He’s like a brother to me. I’m not saying that he hasn’t made mistakes because he clearly has. But everything he’s been through in his life, all that tragedy, I never wanted to add to his pain. I never wanted him to feel any hurt because of _me_.”

                “I’m sorry,” was all Michael could say.

                “Do you love him?” she asked, studying his face.

                When he looked up at her, the pain she saw radiating from his eyes made her gasp.

                “So much that it hurts.”

                “Then you need to fix this, Michael. You need to go and tell him.”

                “It won’t change anything. Our problems, they’re always there. His homophobic, abusive dick of a father worked wonders on him. If I could go back…”

                “You can’t go back. Right now, right here in this moment, what do you want?”

                He looked at her for a long moment before finding the courage to speak. “I just want _him_.”

                “Then go and make things right.”

                “He hates me,” Michael shook his head.

                “He could never hate you. The way he spoke about you back in high school, when I didn’t even know it was you he was talking about; you should have heard him, Michael. There was a lightness in him that I had never seen before. He told me he had found his home, found the place where he was safe and felt loved and belonged.”

                Michael took a deep breath before turning to face her. “We keep hurting each other, over and over again.”

                “That just means the love is real.”

                He stayed quiet for a while before straightening. “How can I make this right with you?”

                “By making it right with _him_.”

                “You’re pretty amazing, Maria.”

                “I know I am, Guerin,” she said with a small smile. “Now, go tell the boy that we both love how much he means to you.”

                He sighed but finally nodded. “Do you hate me?”

                “I know I should but I’m too awesome for that,” she said with a shrug. “But you do know that I’ll be charging you double from now on, right?”

                “Wouldn’t expect anything less, DeLuca,” he offered her a genuine smile before heading towards his truck.

                Shutting off the radio to allow him the silence to gather his thoughts, he pulled onto the long stretch of road that led to the outskirts of town. Unable to stop the tears from falling, he laughed at his own ridiculousness. By the time the small confidence he felt had returned, he parked in front of Jim Valenti’s old cabin and all but ran out the truck.

                “Alex!” he called out, banging his fist against the old oak door.

                When no answer came, he searched around the property, but Alex’s truck was no where in sight. Pulling out his phone, he dialed the number that had remained first in his contact list all these years and groaned when it went straight to voicemail. He tried three more times before sighing in defeat. Sinking down onto the front steps, he leaned his head against the railing and stared out into the darkness.


	2. TWO

 

_Alex stared up at the Museum entrance sign as the rain trickled down from the sky, oblivious to Michael who was standing a few feet away. Michael took the moment to rake his eyes over Alex’s body, a feeling of warmth filling him._

_~~~They had been sitting in the back of Michael’s truck the previous night with Alex strumming his guitar to fill the comfortable silence. When he’d caught Michael’s heated gaze, Alex had looked away, laughing nervously. Before Michael could lean in and finally kiss him, the Psycho ringtone blasted between them, signaling the end of their evening. Sighing as he listened to his angry father, Alex had hung up and turned to Michael with regret. T_ _hey had driven towards Alex’s house in silence and all too soon, Michael was parking the truck a couple blocks away. He had expected Alex to wave and hop out the truck like always but for the first time, Alex hesitated._

_“I’m sorry our night got cut short,” he had whispered before turning away and closing his eyes._

_Feeling a desperate need to soothe the other boy, Michael had inched forward until his hand rested on the back of Alex’s neck, his fingers playing with the short strands of hair. At the gentle pressure, Alex had made a painful sound before meeting his gaze. The beautiful eyes that Michael constantly found himself drowning in held an intensity that shook him to his core._

_“I should go.”_

_Reacting on instinct, Michael had grabbed his hand and tangled their fingers together, tugging Alex towards him. They had stared at their joined hands for several seconds before Michael finally spoke._

_“Sometimes, when I want to get away from the house, I go to the Air Force Museum down on Tenth. No one ever visits and the security is a joke. Meet me there tomorrow night after closing?”_

_Alex had given him a small smile that Michael had come to realize was only meant for him before he grabbed his guitar and disappeared in the shadows. He’d gone home that night to an angry Hank, drunk out of his mind and smashing things but not even that could stop the happy smile from Michael’s face. ~~~_

_Snapping back to the present, Michael made his way towards the other boy, his quiet footsteps alerting Alex to his arrival._

_“I’m glad you came.”_

_“So am I,” Alex replied before he blushed and looked away, his shyness making Michael smile._

_Reaching out, Michael tangled their fingers together. Alex turned to him with a sharp inhale, but Michael’s warm smile soothed his fears._

_“Come on,” he said, pulling Alex behind him towards the back door. “They still haven’t changed the code from when I worked here last summer.”_

_Entering the security numbers, Michael waited until the door clicked open before ushering Alex inside._

_“Breaking and entering, Guerin?” Alex laughed as they moved through the museum’s dark halls hand in hand._

_“It was raining so I figured we could watch the stars from inside tonight,” Michael tossed over his shoulder, leading them into the planetarium._

_“You’re a romantic, aren’t you?” Alex teased before realizing what he had said and looking down, wide-eyed._  

_Michael squeezed his hand and smiled, the other boy’s words warming him. “Wait here?”_  

_Alex  nodded and squeezed his hand back in assurance before Michael made his way to the control switch. Within seconds, the ceiling was covered in bright stars shining down on them._

_“This is perfect,” Alex said, taking in the beauty above him. “Thank you.”_

_He turned to find Michael already gazing at him with hooded eyes. They had been dancing around their feelings for weeks, pulled together with magnetic force but too afraid to bridge the final gap between them. Unable to stand the space any longer, Michael closed the distance and slowly slid his arms around Alex’s slender frame, enveloping him in a strong embrace from behind._

_“Is this okay?” he asked, feeling Alex tense against him._

_A few seconds passed before Alex slowly relaxed in his hold. Lifting his own hands to cover Michael’s, he tangled their fingers together and melted against him._

_“Yes,” he breathed out, pressing a soft kiss to Michael’s cheek._

_Feeling the last of his own anxiety disappear at the quiet admission, Michael tightened his arms._

_“It feels so good to hold you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss to Alex’s exposed throat._

_“What took you so long?”_

_Michael hesitated before kissing his throat again. “I didn’t want to scare you.”_

_“You don’t scare me, Michael,” Alex began, his voice barely above a whisper. “What I feel for you does.”_

_“Yeah?” Michael asked, his voice taking on a playfully seductive tone as he peppered kisses up and down Alex’s neck. “How do I make you feel?”_

_Alex moaned softly as Michael grazed his teeth against his skin._

_“Do I turn you on?” he whispered, biting behind his ear and smiling when Alex trembled against him._

_“I feel if you don’t kiss me, I’ll die,” Alex confessed._

_Michael felt the words like a spear through his chest. Spinning him around, he moved him backwards until Alex’s back was pushed against the planetarium wall._

_“Baby,” he whispered, gently cradling Alex’s face in his hands before pressing their lips together for the first time, soft, tender and perfect._

_They leaned back to gaze at one another, breathless at the electrifying heat between them. Meeting in the middle, their second kiss was anything but gentle. Like a dam that had finally broken, all their pent up desire poured into the kiss as Alex buried his fingers in Michael’s curls, sharply tugging on the strands. Michael moaned at the sensation and moved his leg between Alex’s thighs, pressing up against him as his tongue slipped inside the other boy’s mouth, desperate for a taste. Feeling Michael’s hardness against his own, Alex tore his mouth away to moan._

_“You feel amazing,” Michael panted, caressing his hands down Alex’s thighs before hoisting him up._

_Alex wrapped his legs around Michael’s waist on instinct and whimpered when it brought their groins together. Rolling his hips at a frenzied pace, Michael watched in awe as Alex tilted his head back against the wall, biting his bottom lip._

_“You’re so beautiful.”_

_The heat he saw in Alex’s eyes lit Michael’s whole body on fire._

_“And you’re mine,” he growled before crashing their lips together again._

_Their tongues battled for dominance until Michael tore his lips away to his favorite spot on Alex’s neck, biting down hard and causing the other boy to cry out. The sudden sound of jingling keys from the hallway snapped them out of their daze and captured their attention._ _Lowering Alex back down to his feet, Michael grabbed his hand and quickly led the flustered boy towards the back. Just as the night guard rounded the corner, they pushed past the doors into the hallway, bursting outside towards Michael’s truck. Laughing at the thrill of their escape, they jumped inside before Michael sped onto the main road._

_They drove directionless for several minutes, allowing their laughter to die down until Michael eventually pulled the truck into an empty field. Switching the engine off, he turned towards Alex and found him with his head tilted back and his eyes closed, a serene smile on his face. Michael’s eyes wandered over the red marks littering Alex’s neck, feeling a wave of possessiveness. Reaching forward, he ran his fingers over the small bruises, his sensual touch making Alex moan._

_“Fuck,” Michael cursed at the sound._

_Alex watched him for a moment before tangling their hands together and pressing Michael’s fingers harder against the blemishes on his skin._

_Do you like marking me?” Alex asked, his voice seductive but innocent._

_“More than I should, Michael breathed out, leaning in and sucking on the soft skin. “I don’t want you to go home.”_

_“Then I won’t.”_

_“What about your dad?” Michael asked, moving back with a frown._

_“What more can he do to me at this point?” Alex said with a shrug, not knowing that the careless words would soon come back to haunt them._

_Before Michael could protest, Alex crawled across the bench until he was straddling his thighs. His hands found their place in Michael’s curls as he leaned in to kiss him once, hard._

_“You’re the one thing that’s mine. I want to keep you as long as I can.”_

_Michael smiled at the words and laid a kiss on Alex’s nose. They leaned their foreheads together, breathing as one._

_“Touch me, Michael.”_

_“Are you sure?” Michael’s voice cracked._

_“I want to feel your hands on me,” Alex confessed and lightly rocked his hips. “Please?”_

_Michael released a shaky breath before nodding. “Let’s get in the back?”_

_Alex gave him a final kiss before crawling over the leather and into the backseat. As Michael moved to follow him, his breath caught in his throat at the image presented to him. Alex was lying on his back with his legs splayed open, breathing hard with pupils blown and his hair a disheveled mess. Quickly crawling on top of him, Michael ripped his jacket and tee off, tossing them towards the front. Alex’s eyes focused on the small splatter of chest hair before his gaze lowered to the happy trail that led into his jeans. He bit his lower lip nervously, making Michael groan._

_“You’re going to drive me crazy, doing that.”_

_Alex gave him a pleased smile before lifting his hands to Michael’s chest, gently caressing the skin. Michael closed his eyes and sighed, his obvious pleasure giving Alex the confidence to grow bolder with his touches._

_“Your turn,” Michael said, slowly unbuttoning Alex’s flannel._

_Pulling the garment away, he followed with the band t-shirt underneath and leaned back to gaze down at the beautifully flushed skin._

_“Can I touch you?”_

_“Yes,” Alex managed to get out._

_Michael smiled wide before he lowered his face to Alex’s chest and licked across a nipple. Alex arched his back at the sudden sensation and then moaned when Michael did the same to the next._

_“I love how responsive you are,” he whispered, pressing a bruising kiss to Alex’s collarbone. “I’ll make you feel good, sweetheart. I promise.”_

_Lifting himself up, he slowly unbuckled Alex’s belt and lowered the zipper before stopping when he noticed the shaking body beneath him._

_“Baby, what’s wrong?” he quickly sobered from the fog of lust around them. “We don’t have to do anything you don’t want.”_

_Pulling Michael by the back of his neck, Alex pressed a long, fiery kiss against his lips._

_“I’m shaking because I want to feel you so badly, Michael. Not because I want to stop,” he promised._

_Michael blinked several times at the weight of the words before the smile returned to his face._

_“Lift up for me?”_

_Alex tilted his hips up enough for Michael to pull his pants and underwear down to the middle of his thighs before lowering himself back onto the seat and shuddering at Michael’s black eyes._

_“Can I taste you?” he asked, his low voice making Alex widen his legs._

_Michael’s eyes grew even darker as he licked his lips in anticipation. But he looked back up at Alex, silently asking for permission. When Alex whispered yes, Michael gave a seductive smile and leaned down to take him fully into his mouth. The sudden wet heat made Alex cry in pleasure, pressing his fisted hands against the seat under him. Michael blindly reached out and took Alex’s hands in his, massaging the fists open as he bobbed his head up and down. Guiding Alex’s hands to his hair, he released them and groaned when he felt the fingers run through his curls. Overwhelmed, Alex pressed his face into his arm to silence his moans._

_“No,” Michael objected firmly. “I want to hear you.”_

_Alex trembled at his words but nodded. Satisfied, Michael took him back in his mouth and flicked his tongue around the end before sucking hard, pulling a deep moan that felt like music to his ears._

_“You taste so good,” he panted, pulling off and pressing soft kisses to Alex’s inner thighs._

_Before he could take him back in, Alex reached out to stop him._

_“I’m close. Too close.”_

_“That’s the idea, baby,” Michael said with a lewd smile._

_Alex managed to huff out a laugh before pulling him down. “I want to feel you too.”_

_The words destroyed any sign of playfulness between them. He started to unbuckle himself, but Alex batted his hands away. Michael watched with hooded eyes as Alex pulled his pants and underwear down, biting his lip eagerly when he saw Michael’s thickness for the first time. Wrapping his fingers around him, he started moving his hand up and down, the sensation making Michael curse under his breath. He enjoyed the feeling for another few seconds before pulling Alex’s arms to wrap around his shoulders._

_Leaning all the way down to cover Alex’s body with his, he rubbed their cocks together and pressed his face into Alex’s neck, working them towards ecstasy. When Alex finally came, he cried out in a mix of pleasure and pain, biting into Michael’s shoulder as his back arched off the seat, a sheen of sweat glistening his body. Michael worked him through his orgasm, milking every drop while his own member stayed hard and angry between them, desperate to reach the same completion. Opening his eyes, Alex ran a shaky hand through Michael’s hair, a dazed smile on his face._

_“Come for me.”_

_The words were like a punch to the gut and Michael came with a shout, his release mixing with Alex’s between their trembling bodies. Once he was completely spent, he collapsed on Alex heavily to catch his breath. As the haze of orgasm slowly faded, Michael moved to lift himself off, but Alex tightened his hold and kept him pinned to his body._

_“Stay,” he whispered, kissing Michael’s cheek sweetly. “It’s a good weight.”_

_Michael felt something in him break at the words and he lowered himself back down, wrapping his arms around Alex and holding him tight, their hearts beating as one. He felt Alex lay gentle kisses against the top of his head and slowly lifted his face to seal their lips together. The tender moment was full of a love so strong that neither could fully comprehend it. When they pulled away, Alex gazed at him with unshed tears and Michael knew in his heart the three words the other boy wanted to say. Michael wanted to say the same._

_"Don’t leave me,” Alex said instead._

_The vulnerability in his voice broke Michael’s heart. Caressing his cheek, Michael took Alex’s hand in his and pressed it against his lips._

_“It’s an iron lock,” he promised. “You and me, sweetheart. Always.”_

_*****_

                “Michael!” Isobel’s shrill voice snapped him awake from the memory he was dreaming of.

                Opening his eyes, he glanced around himself confused.

                “Michael!” she shouted again, banging her delicate, manicured hand on the trailer door.

                “I’m coming!” he shouted back, sitting up in exasperation.

                Grabbing his jeans and a dark blue flannel that had years ago belonged to Alex, he quickly dressed and reached for his phone before making his way outside.

                “I was knocking on your door for 5 minutes!” she complained, her arms crossed at her chest.

                “Good morning to you too,” he gave her a sarcastic smile before falling into one of the empty chairs. “It’s too early for your craziness, Is. What did Max do this time?”

                As she took a seat in the chair beside him, he switched on his phone and sighed when he saw that there were no new messages. The texts and voicemails were still unanswered.

                “I decided I’m going to tell Noah,” she began, and he whipped his head up so fast it made her laugh.

                “Tell him what?”

                “Everything, Michael. About us, about who we are.”

                “Are you serious this time?” he asked skeptically.

                “Yes, I’m serious,” she said, rolling her eyes. “I love him, and I hate keeping this a secret. He’s a good man, Michael. I can’t keep this from him anymore. With the truth about a fourth one of us out there and what really happened that night with Rosa, I want him to know everything.”

                Michael stayed silent for a long moment before facing her. “Do you trust him? Like, really trust him?”

                “Yes,” she said with conviction.

                “Okay, that’s good, I guess. First Max and now you. Guess it’s about time.”

                “Yeah,” she agreed, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders at his acceptance.

                Adjusting in the chair to sit more comfortably, Isobel smirked.

                “So, why are you extra broody this morning?” she asked, the question earning her a glare. “Weren’t you and DeLuca hanging out? What happened with that?”

                She saw a sudden pain in his eyes that he quickly tried to cover by looking away.

                “Yeah, she’s awesome.”

                “So then why do you look like that?”

                “Like what?” he asked, being purposefully obtuse.

                “God, you and Max, I swear!” she grumbled. “You’ve been moping all week, Michael. Tell me what’s wrong so I can help you.”

                “Don’t think anything can help at this point,” he said with a sigh.

                “I can try and talk to her for you, if you want? I know she doesn’t like me all that much but…”

                “It’s not about Maria, Isobel!” he shouted, angrily running a hand through his hair.

                She was surprised by his outburst but quickly recovered and leaned back to contemplate the anger and pain he was projecting. The only time she had seen Michael so lost and heartbroken had been during the months that followed their high school graduation. Michael suffering in foster care while she and Max thrived in a kind home had always been a sore topic between them. He had been quiet and closed off for a long time, but senior year, everything had changed. He had smiled all the time and gotten better grades in school even though he was already a genius before that year. He was light and sweet and whatever happiness he was feeling came off him in waves. She had pestered him with questions at the time, sensing that a person was responsible for all the positive changes, but he had remained tight lipped about it back then.

                Then prom night happened. Rosa happened. Within a few short days, all that happiness was suddenly gone. The light had left his eyes, leaving behind an angry, heartbroken shell of who he had been the past year. She had tried to reach out to him, especially since her own memory of Rosa’s death had been unknowingly wiped, sadly allowing her to focus on the pain around her, oblivious to her own. On graduation night, while the rest of her classmates celebrated their freedom from high school, Michael had broken down in Isobel’s arms for the first and only time. As much as she had wanted to press him, her desire to spare him any further pain won out and she never asked again until now.

                “You were like this back in high school. Graduation night and for months after that.”

                “I don’t want to talk about that, Is.”

                “You cried in my arms and asked me not to question why and I agreed. But I’m going to question you now, Michael. You’re sitting here staring at me like your heart has been ripped from your chest just like ten years ago. What happened?”

                Michael closed his eyes, willing his tears to remain hidden while absently berating himself for not better masking his pain. Isobel was annoyingly persistent. When her mind was set on something, she would keep pressing until she got the answer she wanted.

                Knowing she would have to drag the truth out of him, Isobel narrowed her eyes and focused her mind. Rewarded with her newfound lost memories, she searched their past for fragments of time that centered around him.

                Her first memory was of a Monday morning at school senior year when he had strolled towards her locker with a dopey smile, bragging about first kisses being even better than he’d imagined. Behind him, oblivious to Michael, she had seen a flushed Alex Manes suddenly stumble, almost dropping his skateboard before disappearing down the hall. Unsure of the memory’s significance, she pushed her mind forward, remembering a day when they had been studying with Max and Liz in the library. They had been busy making sense of a mathematical equation when Alex Manes had walked by. Michael’s eyes had followed in the same direction before leaving to find the bathroom. He had returned twenty minutes later looking flushed and blaming his disheveled appearance on the out of service restroom forcing him to go to the other side of the building. Isobel had rolled her eyes and ignored his odd behaviour.

                 Her mind continued searching and focused on another memory when he had asked her about gifts for Valentine’s Day. She had assumed it was for the secret girlfriend responsible for the constant smiles on his face and had dragged him into every store at the mall, pointing out flowers, perfume and jewelry. Later, as she waited in line at the café, she had watched Michael approach a jewelry kiosk, asking the seller about engravings on the leather strap bracelets. When she had made it back to him, coffee in hand, he had already left the seller and told her he had settled for flowers, unaware that she had seen him slip a receipt in his back pocket.

                 Three days later in Chemistry class, Alex Manes had tripped walking past her desk. As he gathered his papers from the floor, she had crouched down to help him. They had been in the same circle of friends for a few years as his closest were Liz and Maria and Liz and Max had grown inseparable by then, but they had never spent much time together one on one. As she offered him one of the books he had dropped, her eyes caught on the leather band bracelet on his wrist with the letters MA engraved. He had thanked her with a kind smile and escaped to his seat at the back of the class. Their teacher had walked in moments later and revealed a pop quiz, effectively allowing the bracelet to slip from Isobel’s mind.

                Turning back to Michael, everything suddenly made sense. After graduation, Alex had gone off to the Air Force, leaving Roswell behind and taking Michael’s happiness with him. She had watched over the next decade as Michael went from mindless hookup to a period of solitude, rinse and repeat, never committing and always masking the emptiness he felt with fake bravado and charm.

                The only time she had seen his cool exterior break had been a night two years ago when they waited for their drinks with Max at the Wild Pony. Michael’s focus had suddenly shifted from their conversation to Maria who was engaging with a customer a few feet away. The man’s brother was also an Airman and he sadly recounted the news he had heard about Alex Manes. Seeing the sudden change in Michael’s expression, she had focused on the other conversation and discovered that Alex and his company had been ambushed in Iraq four days earlier as they assisted the patrol units. He had saved the lives of two other soldiers but had lost his leg as he carried a third to safety in a hasty escape. He would have lost more than a limb if the hidden mine they had stepped over hadn’t been faulty. Michael had stood there shaking, tears welling in his eyes in a way that scared both her and Max and barely offered an excuse before bolting from the bar. Isobel and Max had chased after him, worried that he’d lost control of his powers when they found him heaving outside. They had followed him back to his trailer, but he refused to open the door or let anyone in, disappearing from life for several days. Isobel hadn’t understood back then, but her heart finally recognized the truth.

                Alex Manes had returned from war six weeks ago, prosthetic in place and crutch in hand. It was the first time Michael had genuinely smiled in over a decade.

                “Oh Michael."

                Their eyes met and he instantly knew she understood.

                “You’re in love with Alex. All these years, why didn’t you say anything? Did you think Max or I would care because he was a boy?”

                “No,” he said, shaking his head at the thought.

                “Then why, Michael?”

                “He didn’t want anyone to know back then,” he replied and quickly held his hand up to cut her off. “It wasn’t his fault, Is. His dad, you have no idea the kind of man he is. When he found out his son was gay, what that animal did to him? How much he hurt him?”

                “I’m sorry. I didn’t know,” she said quietly.

                “That’s the point. No one did. No one knew about his dad or about us and he wanted to keep it that way. He was already putting up with shit in school from Valenti and his idiot friends. He didn’t want anyone to know any more details about his life than they already did,” Michael explained as his good hand fisted angrily over his knee. “I hated his homophobic dick of a father and as much as I wanted to pummel him or any of those assholes at school, I had to respect him wanting to keep us a secret. He had no control over the shitty parts of his life, but this was the one thing he _could_ control. He used to call us his safe place and he didn’t want anything or anyone to taint it.”

                Isobel reached out and laid her hand over his, uncurling his fist.

                “What happened?”

                “Ten years ago or now?” he said with a bitter laugh.

                “Both?”

                “Prom night, after Rosa, we were both kind of all over the place. He stayed with Liz for a while to try and comfort her while I was with you and Max, but she just wanted to be left alone. He went home and texted me and that’s when I left. I went to see him. One minute we were arguing and the next, we were on his bed. We slept together for the first time that night. We’d done other stuff, but he hadn’t been ready to go all the way before. Afterwards, I just felt so at peace, holding him. Like despite all the other crap that happened that night, for the first time since we woke up in those pods, my heart was calm,” he said sadly. “His dad came home early and caught us in bed. It got ugly and Alex begged me to go. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to leave him, but he was standing there pleading with me to go before things got worse, so I did. He was probably scared that either I’d end up killing his dad or his dad would kill me, and the truth is that I would have, Is. I would have used my powers to hurt the son of a bitch if he laid a hand on Alex.”

                He shook his head to rid the painful memory from his thoughts.

                “He didn’t return any of my calls or texts for three days until he messaged me graduation morning to meet him at the Air Force Museum. It’s where we kissed the first time.”

                Michael stared out into the distance, unable to stop the words from spilling.

                “When I got there, I could see it in his eyes before he started talking. His eyes were always so damn expressive, you know?” he said with a cheerless laugh. “He told me he was joining the Air Force and that whatever we had between us was over. I don’t beg, Isobel, but I _begged_ him not to go. I could see his resolve slipping but it’s like he shook his head and detached himself from everything he was feeling. He wished me a good life and a good future at college and just like that, he was gone. It didn’t really hit me until later that night when he was a no show at graduation. I went out back to the bleachers and tried his cell, but the line was disconnected. That’s when you found me.”

                He raised his mangled left hand.

                “Then six weeks ago, he was suddenly there. A whole damn decade had gone by and it felt like no time had passed at all. At the reunion, I couldn’t help myself. I kissed him. For ten years, it was like I was living my life in a blur and the moment my lips touched his, I could see clearly again.”

                “What ruined it this time?” she asked, blinking back tears at his admission.

                “He tried to pull away but we’re like magnets, Is. Neither of us could stay away for long, not when we were back in each other’s orbit. He showed up the night I was moving my trailer and suddenly, it all just clicked. We could always read each other’s bodies so well and nothing had changed,” Michael said before sighing. “Things were really good but when you showed up that morning to talk, he freaked out at the idea of you seeing him. We argued again at the drive in and that was it. He said some crap about me being a criminal but that’s all it was, just crap excuses. Deep down, he was just scared and as much as I’d like to sometimes, I can’t even hate him for it. Not after what he went through overseas. Not after what his father did to him or the twisted way he still manipulates him.”

                She opened her mouth to interrupt, but he held up his hand to stop her.

                “I know what you’re going to say and believe me, I’ve told myself the same thing a thousand times that maybe I’m better off without him, that it was just a high school romance but none of that’s true. I tried to forget him, to hate him, but I can’t do it. We’ve always been two broken pieces of the same whole.”

                “I’m so sorry,” she said, squeezing his hand in comfort.

                “Six nights after the drive in, I pep talked myself into going to his cabin to try and yell some sense into him. Truth is, I probably would have begged him to take me back so at the risk of him slamming the door in my face, I chickened out and went to the Wild Pony instead. I had one too many drinks and hooked up with Maria after her shift,” he said, looking off into the distance. “She was fun and sweet but more than anything, a distraction. He texted me out of the blue last week to talk and like an idiot, I agreed to meet him at the bar. He started apologizing and saying all these perfect things and then Maria walked up, and Alex realized and it all just went to shit.”

                “Michael,” she tried but he talked over her as if she hadn’t spoken.

                “I was lucky enough that Maria was forgiving. She’s actually a good friend. But with Alex, it’s different. I really hurt him, Is. Maybe I shouldn’t care because he hurt me first but none of that matters to me. I just want to fix everything that’s broken between us and be with him, but he won’t answer any of my calls or my texts and he hasn’t been back to the cabin since that night. It’s killing me.”

                Releasing his hand, she sat back in her chair to let out a deep breath. She had never heard Michael talk so much in one sitting and needed a moment to take everything in.

                “First, I hate that you went through all of this and never told me or Max. I mean, I understand that you and Max have your own issues to work through, but you and I were different. I wish you had talked to me.”

                “What difference would it have made? You couldn’t have changed who his father was or stopped him from leaving or from being a damn hero overseas.”                

                “I know, but I could have been a shoulder for you to lean on, Michael,” she said as he looked away.

                “It doesn’t matter. He hates me now anyways.”

                “Hate’s too strong a word, Michael. Besides, you weren’t together, and he was the one to break things off again.”

                “I hooked up with one of his closest friends, Isobel.”

                “Then I’ll help you fix it,” she offered.

                He looked at her and scoffed. “How are you going to do that? Telepathy won’t help and I sure as hell won’t let you mess with his head.”

                “Stop being so dramatic!” she exclaimed. “But that reminds me. Does he know about us?”

                “Seriously? He and I have a world of issues between us that don’t even include me saying ‘Hey babe, by the way, I’m an alien’.”

                “Okay, one thing at a time then,” Isobel said, sitting up straight. “Liz and Max have been taking baby steps to try and mend their relationship. It’s going to take a while though, you know, because first she thought _he_ killed her sister and then we all thought _I_ killed Rosa and now we know the truth that a fourth one, the one who’s still out there, did.”

                He shook his head at her words.

                “We all need to heal, Michael. In an effort to do that mending and much more, Liz came up with an idea and surprisingly, I don’t hate it. Kyle, who has thankfully dropped the douchebag part of his personality, has another family cabin out on Lake Mission. She wants us all to go over tonight so we can try and fix everything that’s broken and by everyone, I mean Max and Liz, Kyle, Maria, me and Noah, you and yes, Alex.”

                His eyes snapped up to hers at the mention of Alex’s name.

                “What makes you think he’ll show?”

                “He’s been spending all his time at the base this past week, busying himself with some project. Liz finally got a hold of him and used some emotional manipulation to get him to come tonight,” she explained and continued before he could speak. “I know because Liz told Max and Max obviously told me. Now, I don’t think he knows that you’ll be there because Liz left that little detail out. Actually, she left the Maria part out too when she spoke with him so I’m thinking Maria must have spilled the beans to Liz already but at least he agreed to show and that leads me to why I’m here. To extend the invitation.”

                He stared at her wearily until she reached back out and took his hand in hers again.

                “Let’s go fix your broken heart, Michael.”

 

 


	3. THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate Jesse Manes.

 

 

                 Pulling into the lakefront lot, Alex drove across the dimly lit space and parked his truck near the boardwalk. Tilting his head back onto his seat, he massaged the part of his leg that pressed against the prosthetic, feeling the pain from standing on his feet all day. He had been weary when Liz initially contacted him, locating him at the base when he hadn’t answered his cell, to invite him to join her at Kyle’s cabin. Preoccupying himself at the base all week was a way that he could avoid his misery. Seeing Michael and Maria together had knocked the wind out of him. Maria was one of his dearest friends while Michael was the love of his life. The latter was a truth Alex had always known but had been too afraid to admit. The thought of Michael and Maria together tormented him in a way that Alex had forgotten he could feel. He had no right to feel betrayed or upset but it hurt all the same. Knowing that it was his own insecurities that led Michael straight into the arms of his friend had just been the cherry on top of Alex’s miserable cake.

                 After leaving the bar last week, he’d driven out to the middle of the desert, drinking himself numb. Waking in the morning to a pounding headache and a terrible pain in his leg from forgetting to remove the prosthetic, Alex had switched on his phone to see twelve texts and three voicemails from Michael. Unable to bring himself to read the messages or hear Michael’s voice, he had switched off his phone and driven back to his empty cabin. Cleaning up his appearance, he had returned to the base in the hopes of preoccupying himself with his current secret project, leaving his phone at the cabin to give him the space he needed from the situation.

                 When he’d spoken with Liz and she’d guilted him into saying yes, all he could do was ask who else was invited. Alex considered himself a relatively strong person mentally and emotionally, considering the myriad of shit he had been through in his short twenty-seven years but even he had his breaking point. Maria wasn’t some nameless random that Alex could pretend didn’t exist. She was important to him, a lifelong friend. He had needed space to learn acceptance of her and Michael’s relationship, no matter the pain it caused him at the thought of never touching or feeling Michael again. He could swallow his emotions and learn to be indifferent. He’d mastered it fairly well over the years. All he needed was time.

                 As his internal monologue came to an end, he allowed himself a few moments of weakness. Leaning back comfortably in his seat, his fingers pressed absently against his stump. His thoughts wandered into the past and searched though hundreds of memories he had shared with Michael senior year. They were memories that had kept him warm and sane through the eight years he’d spent in war. When he had been lying in the desert in Iraq, numb from the pain and shock of his leg being torn from his body, he had separated his mind from the chaos of war around him. Turning his face to the side, he had seen Michael laying in the dirt beside him and had felt the soft caress on his cheek as if Michael were really there. Slowly closing his eyes, he had feared that they would never reopen again. That day had left him raw and broken. Two years had passed since then but the constant ache in his leg was an endless reminder of everything he had lost and suffered over the years. Unable to bare the pain of that day any longer, Alex let his mind wander again.

*****

 

                _Once the final bell had rung to signal the end of school, Alex made his way to the skater park to join the other kids he’s met over the past year. They weren’t his friends, but he had bonded with them over their shared hobby. He would often find himself amongst the skater crowd, desperate to avoid going home, knowing the abuse and cruelty that awaited him. That day, as he made his way to the skating grounds, he had stopped when his eyes caught Kyle and his friends. They were hanging around their cars, laughing aloud at a brainless joke that only jocks would understand. Not wanting to have another run in with that crowd, Alex found himself making the twenty minute walk back to school. Whenever Maria and Liz were too busy for him to hang around and the skater park was not an option, Alex would find himself at the bleachers behind school, strumming away at his guitar in the peaceful silence._

_Grabbing his guitar from a secret maintenance closet, he made his way towards the back courtyard, climbing the empty bleachers and taking a seat on a middle row, his back turned towards the building. Most days, playing his guitar was an escape, letting him focus on something other than the abusive hatred his father had towards him. As his fingers moved across the strings, oblivious to the world around him, he failed to notice Michael Guerin approach the bleachers, lost in his own thoughts. He didn’t see Michael take a seat several rows higher than him, pulling a book out of his bag and startling when he heard the gentle tune. He didn’t notice when Michael slowly turned to face Alex’s profile, watching the other boy with a look of awe on his face._

_Insecurity had become Alex’s middle name. He had been a bundle of energy as a child, wildly outspoken and viewing the world around him through a wondrous lens. Losing his mom at an early age had dimmed that light inside him. Learning he was gay at fifteen and living through three years of abuse and cruelty from his father had left him broken. His skating was a way to rebel against the world and the order his father demanded, but his music was a way to release his pain. He refused to play in front of others, outside of a drunken night with Liz and Maria on his sixteenth birthday and the handful of times he had let Kyle listen before their friendship came to a disastrous end. He was always too emotionally charged when he lost himself in the music, unable to mask the constant ache he felt inside. Never allowing anyone to see him at his most vulnerable, when his guard was down and the loneliness he felt shined so bright, was a vow Alex had promised himself never to break._

_Closing his eyes, still oblivious to the enraptured Michael sitting a few feet away, Alex quietly began to play._

_**I walk a lonely road**_  
 **_T_ _he only one that I have ever known_**  
 **_Don't know where it goes  
                _ _But it's only me, and I walk alone_**

  
                **_I walk this empty street_**  
 **_On the boulevard of broken dreams_**  
 _ **Where the city sleeps**_  
 _ **And I'm the only one, and I walk alone**_

 _  
_ _Unbeknownst to him, Michael’s eyes had begun forming tears as he watched the seventeen year old classmate he had only known from a distance, sing words that spoke straight to his own soul._

  
                **_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me_**  
 **_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating_**  
 _ **Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me**_  
 _ **Till then I walk alone**_

  
**** _As Alex played a short interlude of melody, Michael felt a strong urge to reach out towards him, a need he couldn’t understand._

  
                **_I'm walking down the line_**  
 ** _That divides me somewhere in my mind_**  
 ** _On the border line of the edge_**  
                _ **And where I walk alone** _        

_  
                Alex had been able to memorise the words so easily, the sad loneliness behind the lyrics a mirror image of his own._

  
                **_Read between the lines_**  
 **_What's fucked up and every thing's all right_**  
 ** _Check my vital signs to know I'm still alive_**  
 ** _And I walk alone_**

 **_  
_ ** **** _As he finally opened his eyes, a single tear streamed down his face._

  
                **_My shadow's the only one that walks beside me_**  
 **_My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating_**  
 ** _Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me_**  
 ** _Till then I walk alone_**

_  
                When his fingers stopped playing, he released a shaky breath and wiped his eyes. Suddenly feeling another presence, he glanced past his shoulder and froze when he spotted Michael a few rows away. They stared at one another for several long seconds, the intensity in the charged moment leaving both speechless. Snapping out of his daze, Alex sprang to his feet to make his escape. Before his mind could catch up, Michael was running forward to grab him, making the other boy yank his arm away._

_“Hey, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you!”_

_“You didn’t scare me!” Alex spat back. “What do you want?”_

_“I just…,” Michael began, unable to articulate his own confused thoughts. “Your voice is beautiful.”_

_Alex stared at him for a long moment, surprised by the admission. They had known of each other and had been in the same classes, but never interacted one on one. Alex knew very little about the other boy, only that he was a genius at school who spent all his time with the Evans twins._

_“What do you expect me to say to that?” he ended up asking._

_“Nothing, man. I just wanted you to know. You have a nice voice.”_

_Alex faltered before gathering the guitar behind his back. Michael used the hesitation to start again and extended his hand._

_“I’m Michael.”_

_Alex narrowed his gaze, his guard rising again._

_“Why are you talking to me?” he asked instead._

_Michael laughed at the question, lowering his hand as it hung awkwardly between them._

_“Why the hell wouldn’t I? We go to the same school, know the same people. Why wouldn’t I talk to you?”_

_“Because I’m gay,” Alex said as if it were obvious._

_Michael visibly softened at the words._

_“Why should that matter?”_

_“It matters to everyone else,” Alex replied._

_Michael stared at him for a moment before tilting his head to the side. “I’m not them.”_

_Alex was unsure how to respond so he tore his eyes away from Michael’s intense gaze._

_“Besides, I was thinking maybe you could teach me how to play?” Michael asked, letting his voice take on a playful tone. “I mean, I suck when it comes to instruments. Music class was always dead last on my list, but you seem like you’d be a great teacher.”_

_“Why would you think that?”_

_“It’s like you can feel the music,” Michael said, and all the fight drained from Alex._

_He hesitated for another few seconds, trying to study the other boy to see if he was about to claim his kindness was all a prank or laugh out loud in his face. When he saw nothing but gentleness in Michael’s eyes, he had a feeling that the moment they were sharing held a significance he couldn’t quite explain. Despite the urge he felt to turn and walk away, he reached out his hand instead._

_“I’m Alex.”_

_The answering smile Michael gave him made Alex’s heart flutter in his chest. His breath caught in his throat when Michael took his hand and pulled him in a step, their eyes locking as neither boy could bring themselves to look away._

*****

 

                Opening his eyes, Alex sighed at the memory. Needing several beers to keep his emotions at bay, he tossed his bag across his shoulder and grabbed his crutch, limping towards the boardwalk just as a smiling Liz came into view.

                “Thank you for coming,” she said, pulling him into a tight embrace.

                “Thanks for the invite. I needed this.”

                “Follow me,” she smiled and guided him down the small walkway until they reached the sand.

                He could see a small fire and a few figures in the distance with the cabin behind the group on higher ground. Walking on sand with his crutch was harder than he had expected and slowed his movements even more than usual, but he pushed through his annoyance and trailed after Liz. He tripped after a few seconds, his crutch catching on a hidden rock and suddenly, Michael was there to steady him. Alex stumbled back a few steps and turned to Liz. She offered an apologetic smile before leaving them.

                “Hi,” Michael greeted quietly.

                Alex regarded him in silence, his heart growing heavy. Unable to stop his eyes from traveling across Michael’s broad shoulders and firm chest, his gaze focused on the dark blue flannel he recognized from his own youth.

                “Why are you wearing that?”

                Michael looked down at the garment before meeting his eyes again.  

                “I thought I lost that shirt.”

                “You never lost it,” Michael replied quietly. “I kept it with me all these years.”

                Alex felt the admission like a punch to his gut. The night was not going according to the pep talk he had given himself in the car. Seeing Michael here when we wasn’t expecting him, dressed in one of Alex’s old clothes, was overwhelming.

                “Why would you do that?” he whispered, shaking his head.

                 Michael knew what he wanted to do and say. Instead of pulling Alex into his arms and kissing him senseless, he knew he had to pace himself with the other man.

                “Let me help you?” he asked instead.

                “I’m fine,” was his practiced response.

                “Please, Alex?” Michael pressed, his shoulders sagging.

                Alex waited another moment before nodding in defeat.

                The other man’s eyes lit up in a way that confused him, but he ignored it and extended his bag. Michael tossed it over his shoulder but when Alex made to move forward, he slid his fingers around his bicep to stop him.

                “Let me _help_ you.”

                Before he could object, Michael took Alex’s arm and draped it across his own shoulders, taking on half his weight. Alex flushed at the sudden closeness between them, biting his lower lip when Michael’s fingers tangled with his over his shoulder. Clearing his throat, he put on his strongest face of indifference and focused on the fire ahead as they slowly made their way. Once they reached the group, Michael released his hold on Alex’s hand and trailed his own to the small of Alex’s back, pressing lightly to steady him. Alex cleared his throat again and took a large step back, holding his hand out for his bag.

                “Thank you,” he said quietly, not meeting Michael’s eyes as he limped forward to take a seat between Liz and Noah, groaning inwardly when he noticed Maria across the fire.

                Michael waited until he had settled before taking a seat between Isobel and Kyle.

                “I’m really glad you came,” Liz commented, her voice still apologetic.

                Too exhausted to stay mad at her, he nodded, and she smiled as she leaned against him.

                He pressed a small kiss to the top of her head, a familiarity of friendship and family warming him before he nodded his thanks to the beer Noah offered. Taking a long sip from the bottle, Alex switched his gaze back to Liz as she moved to stand.

                “Thanks for coming,” she addressed the group. “We’ve all been through a lot in this town, separately and together. There’s a lot of tension but also a lot of love.”

                She reached down to gingerly take Max’s hand in hers before blowing a kiss to Maria and then smiling down at Alex.

                “Noah, I know you’re fairly new to us as a group but despite appearances, we actually use to be close,” she continued. “Some of us more than others but we were all in the same circle for many years. But too many secrets and lies tore us apart. Too many outside forces.”

                She looked down at Alex again with wet eyes.

                “Too much tragedy and abuse.”

                Alex took a deep breath and stared into the fire, avoiding the sympathetic looks he knew were being thrown his way.

               “There’s still so much we need to tell each other,” Liz carried on, glancing at Noah, Maria and back at Alex. “But tonight, I just wanted us to get to know one another again. Can we try?”

               One by one, everyone nodded in agreement. She smiled and turned to Alex, pressing a sweet kiss on his cheek as she sat back down.

               “No more excuses.”

               Unsure of the meaning behind her phrase, he lifted his eyes to Michael’s out of habit and found him staring back. The intensity forced Alex to glance away until he was looking at Maria. She gave him a sweet smile and a friendly wink before turning back towards an animated Kyle. The group began to pair off in conversations and Alex took the moment to relax. Taking another sip of his beer, he pressed his fingers back to the edge of his leg where the prosthetic grazed his skin, the tension having never dissipated. Groaning from the pain, he lowered his beer to the ground and began massaging his leg with both hands. As the stiffness slowly began to fade, Alex felt a new set of eyes on him and looked up to find Kyle smiling.

              “What?” he asked, still trying to get a handle on Kyle’s relentless need to repair their friendship.

              “Look what I brought,” Kyle said with a smirk, reaching behind him to reveal the black acoustic guitar from his youth.

              “You still have that?” Alex said with a laugh as everyone turned their attentions to them.

              "It was a birthday present from you. Of course, I kept it,” Kyle replied sadly, his words reminding Alex of the friendship he had cherished so dearly before his sexual orientation and societal pressure had changed his friend into a nightmare. “Want to play a song?”

              Alex stared between the guitar and Kyle and shook his head. “I don’t think so.”

              “Come on, man. You were pretty amazing,” Kyle pressed him.

              “I haven’t played in ten years. Besides, I’m not that same kid anymore.”

              His words had a finality to them that made Kyle sink back in his seat.

              “I’ll play,” Michael suddenly spoke up, his words drawing Alex’s gaze to him.

              He took the guitar from Kyle and glanced to Isobel for encouragement. She touched his arm with a gentle smile, soothing his nerves.

              “Since when do you play?” Max asked from across the fire.

              “Since I was seventeen. Alex taught me,” Michael replied, nodding his head at the soldier as Max looked between them in surprise.

              Alex took a moment to collect himself and when he turned towards Michael, he realized that the other man was waiting for their eyes to lock before he spoke.

              “That day on the bleachers senior year, before we talked for the first time, you were sitting there, lost in the music, separate from the world around you. Your voice and the way you played, it was like I could see inside your soul.”

              Michael took a deep breath to find his courage before speaking again.

              “I’d never seen anything more beautiful than in that moment.”

              Alex quickly glanced at Maria but found her smiling encouragingly back at him.

              “Guerin,” he started, confused by Michael’s behavior.

              "You would voice your emotions through music so that’s what I’m going to try to do right now. I was never as good as you but I’m going to give it a go,” he said with a nervous smile. “My hand’s not the same it once was so just bare with me.”

              Taking a deep breath, Michael flexed his fingers before he started to play. Alex immediately recognized the slow tune and gasped.

              “Guerin, please,” he whispered but couldn’t find anything more to say.

              Lifting his gaze to lock with Alex’s eyes, Michael began to sing.

 

**It still feels like our first night together**   
**Feels like the first kiss**   
**It's getting better baby**   
**No one can better this**   
**Still holding on**   
**You're still the one**

  
Alex sat frozen, unable to look away. He could hear Max lean to Liz in confusion, but she quickly shushed him.  


**First time our eyes met**  
 **Same feeling I get**  
 **Only feels much stronger**  
 **I want to love you longer**  
 **Do you still turn the fire on?**  
 

Michael kept his gaze steady on Alex as he sang. Isobel glanced from one to the other, placing a hand over her heart at the intense emotion she saw between them. She leaned her head against Noah’s shoulder, and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head.  


**So if you're feeling lonely, don't**   
**You're the only one I'll ever want**   
**I only want to make it good**   
**So if I love you, a little more than I should**

Alex closed his eyes, overwhelmed by the words.  
 

**Please forgive me, I know not what I do**   
**Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you**   
**Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through**   
**Please forgive me, if I need you like I do**   
**Please believe me, every word I say is true**   
**Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you**

  
                Unable to hold his emotions in any longer, Alex shut his eyes tight as a tear escaped down his cheek.  
 

**Still feels like our best times are together**   
**Feels like the first touch**   
**We're still getting closer baby**   
**Can't get close enough**   
**Still holding on**   
**You're still number one**   
  


**I remember the smell of your skin**   
**I remember everything**   
**I remember all your moves**   
**I remember you, yeah**   
**I remember the nights, you know I still do**

                 
                Opening his eyes, Alex blinked his tears away.  
 

**So if you're feeling lonely, don't**   
**You're the only one I'll ever want**   
**I only want to make it good**   
**So if I love you a little more than I should**

                  
                Alex could feel his heart thunder in his chest as Michael’s fingers strummed the guitar, his eyes locked on him as if they were the only ones around the fire.

  
                **Please forgive me, I know not what I do**  
 **Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you**  
 **Don't deny me, this pain I'm going through**  
 **Please forgive me, if I need you like I do**  
 **Please believe me, every word I say is true**  
              **Please forgive me, I can't stop loving you**

                  
                He stopped strumming and lowered the instrument, moving towards Alex and crouching down in front of him.

                “I can’t stop loving you,” he breathed out, repeating the last words as his hands pressed against Alex’s knees, their eyes meeting over the silence.

                Alex reached out to touch Michael’s face before snapping his hand back. Overcome by emotion, he scrambled to his feet and stumbled down the sand, his crutch forgotten in his hurried escape. Ignoring the pleas behind him, he made his way towards the thick trees lined up on the side of the cabin and pressed his back against the harsh bark, furiously wiping at his tears. Within seconds, Michael rounded the corner and froze in front of him, a devastated look in his eyes. Before he could stagger through an apology, Alex yanked him forward and crashed their lips together. Michael groaned at the onslaught and gathered Alex in his arms, pressing their bodies tight together.

                “Michael,” he protested weakly as the other man pressed his lips to Alex’s exposed neck and sucked, hard. “You and Maria…”

                “She heard us outside the bar. We ended things right after you left,” Michael cut him off, littering his face with kisses. “I never should have been with her. I’m so sorry. It killed me when you walked away at the drive in.”

                “I’m sorry,” Alex whispered, taking a deep breath to calm himself. “I shouldn’t have walked away. Not at the drive in. Not ten years ago. I let my father get inside my head. He threatened you and I couldn’t let him hurt you.”

                Michael leaned back, trying to make sense of Alex’s rambling confession.

                “What are you talking about?”

                Alex ran a shaky hand over his exhausted face, grateful that Michael was holding onto him.

                “Alex, what are you talking about?” Michael asked again.

                “Can we sit down for this?” he pleaded.

                Immediately remembering Alex had left his crutch behind, he nodded and tipped his chin towards the cabin. Taking his arm like before, he led Alex forward and gently lowered him onto the couch in the main room before closing the front door and switching on the lights. Moving to sit on the coffee table in front of him, he leaned forward and waited.

                “Us sleeping together after prom is one of the best memories of my life despite everything else that happened that night. Feeling you inside me for the first time, I can’t begin to describe it,” he said, and Michael breathed heavily at his words. “When he caught us in bed together, he was like this monster looming over us and I was so afraid of what might happen. That’s why I begged you to leave. Once you were gone, I got so angry. He started coming at me, spewing all this homophobic hate and I told him I would never join the Air Force. I told him that in my heart, I knew I belonged with you and after graduation, I would follow you to whatever school accepted you and leave this poisonous place behind. I’d study what I wanted or pursue music and just be happy. He pushed me, I pushed him back, but he got the upper hand and pinned me to the floor. His knee dug into my throat.”

                Michael’s hands fisted as his anger began to boil under his skin.

                “He said I was an embarrassment to his family and I would regret it if I went against him. I managed to push him off and locked myself in my room. I wanted to leave that night, to crawl into your bedroom and ask you to run away with me like some dumb kid,” he laughed at himself. “But I was so exhausted that I fell asleep. When I woke up, he was standing there over my bed again and said he was taking me somewhere that would change my mind. I told him I hated him, and he said he wished I had died in childbirth.”

                Michael took a deep breath and lifted Alex’s hands to his lips, pressing gentle kisses to both.

                “After that, whatever fight I had in me was gone. He dragged me to the bathroom and pushed me into the shower, told me to wash the filth off my skin. I didn’t want to. I could still smell you and feel you, but he pinned my head under the water until I was gasping for air.”

                “I am so sorry,” Michael whispered but Alex continued as if he hadn’t heard him.

                “I barely had a chance to wear any dry clothes before he was dragging me outside. I was just so numb from everything. It wasn’t very hard for him to get me in the car,” he continued, staring off at an invisible mark over Michael’s shoulder. “We drove for a while and when I came to, we were at UNM and the Dean of Admissions was waiting.”

                “No,” Michael protested, sudden realization dawning on him as Alex’s eyes finally met his.

                “It was the one thing you wanted, Michael. To get out of Roswell and go to college and study science and astronomy. Everyone that thought of you as nothing more than a troubled foster kid, to prove all those people wrong in all the right ways. You were always so brilliant, and your future was so bright.”.

                “No,” Michael cried out, pressing Alex’s hands to the sides of his face.

                “I had to, Michael. The Dean was an old army friend. Don’t you see? He would have ruined your life.”

                “Alex,” Michael’s voice broke, the pain at hearing the truth overwhelming him.

                “But if I left Roswell and joined the Air Force, if I became a real Manes man, he would have left you alone. I had to walk away,” he whispered. “He was _my_ father, Michael. Just because he was hellbent on ruining _my_ life and happiness, I couldn’t let him ruin yours too.”

                “Alex, _you_ were my happiness!” he almost shouted, crushed by the truth. “All these years, I thought…”

                Alex smiled down at him sadly, the exhaustion in his soul weighing down on him.

                “I always loved you.”

                Michael shut his eyes, the words causing an ache in his chest that left him raw.

                “When I came back and saw that after everything, you never even went to college…,” Alex trailed off. “That future, everything I wanted you to have…”

                Michael moved to the couch and quickly gathered him into his arms. They stayed that way for several minutes, using the silence between them to dry their tears.

                “I thought of you when I was lying on the ground in Baghdad,” Alex spoke after a long time, his voice small. “I thought of you when I closed my eyes. I didn’t think I’d ever wake up again. I’m sorry.”

                Michael leaned back to look at Alex firmly.

                “Stop saying you’re sorry,” he said, shaking his head angrily. “I didn’t go to college because that life we talked about, that was a life I wanted with _you_. Without you, none of it made sense anymore. None of it mattered. _You_ were what I wanted.”

                He took a deep breath to calm his anger. He couldn’t allow himself to lose control of his powers, not now.

                “I never should have walked away ten years ago. I never should have walked away at the drive in,” Alex said quietly.

                “I never should have let you,” Michael replied.

                “Love shouldn’t have to hurt this hard,” Alex whispered, his voice cracking. “I’m broken, Michael. My father broke me. War broke me.”

                He pressed his hand against his leg and looked away, but Michael dragged his eyes back to lock with his.

                “No, baby. You’re beautiful as is.”

                Lowering himself to his knees, Michael slowly unhooked the clasp and removed the prosthetic. Rolling the pants up to the edge, he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on the stump, the tender touch making Alex tremble.

                “We aren’t seventeen anymore. He can’t hurt us and if he tries, I’ll kill him.”

                “Michael,” Alex started to protest.

                “No, Alex. No more excuses. No more walking away,” he said, affectionately cradling the other man’s face in his hands. “I have wanted you since that day on the bleachers when I heard you sing. It was like I could see you for the first time and you knocked the breath out of me. I couldn’t understand why my heart was thundering in my chest, but I knew I needed you in my life. For a long while, I thought I had to settle for friendship but that night in the museum when we kissed for the first time, it was like everything finally made sense. I’d found my home in you and you’d found your home in me.”

                Wiping the tears from Alex’s eyes, Michael inched closer.

                “I want to be with you,” he whispered, the admission making Alex bite his trembling lower lip. “All the good, the bad and everything in-between. We’re not perfect, neither of us, and we’ll both make mistakes. We’ll be scared, we’ll fight and probably drive each other crazy but it'll be worth it.”

                Alex released a deep breath, letting the words wash over him.

                “I want you to let me love you and I want you to love me back,” Michael said, his own voice beginning to crack. “It’s been ten years and nothing’s changed. You’re mine to keep and I’m yours.”                  
  
                “No more excuses. No more walking away,” Alex said in a shaky voice, pressing his forehead to Michael’s.

                “You and me, sweetheart. Always. Remember?”

                Alex smiled at his tender tone before leaning forward to kiss him. They melted against one another, kissing like they were holding onto their last breath. Michael lowered his hands before scooping Alex up into his arms, carrying him bridal style towards the bedroom at the end of the hall.

                “Seriously, Guerin?” Alex said with a laugh.

                “Hey, I’m all about the romance,” Michael replied with a wriggle of his brow.

                Locking the door behind him, he slowly laid a laughing Alex down onto the bed. The flickering lights caught Alex’s attention and he turned to see the space covered in lit candles, giving the room a romantic, warm glow.

                “Pretty optimistic, weren’t you?” he asked with a grin.

                “You know you love it,” Michael grinned back as he straddled his legs, hands on either side of Alex’s head.

                Alex smiled up at him before turning his head to kiss Michael’s wrist. “I love _you_.”

                The playfulness left Michael and he swallowed hard.

                “I love you back,” he replied and lowered his body to cover Alex’s, wrapping the other man in his arms and kissing him breathless.

                “You and me, always,” Alex panted, their hands locking above his head.

                Michael smiled as if the heaviness in his chest had finally lifted.  
  


 


	4. FOUR

 

                Michael stirred awake at the feel of soft kisses being pressed against his chest. Groaning contently, he opened his eyes and smiled down at Alex, tightening his arms around him.

                “It’s still early,” Alex whispered, brushing the curls back from Michael’s forehead. “Go back to sleep.”

                “Why are you awake?” Michael asked in a sleepy voice as he pressed three gentle kisses to the top of Alex’s head, the sweetness making the other man smile.

                “Just making sure this was real.”

                Michael smiled at the words and buried his face in Alex’s neck, breathing him in.

                “Go back to sleep,” Alex repeated, his fingers drawing patterns over Michael’s skin.

                Within seconds, Michael was fast asleep, covering Alex's body like a blanket. Outside, the sun slowly began to rise, shining light through the curtains over the bed.

                When Michael blinked his eyes awake the second time, he found the space beside him empty and the bed cold. Sitting up slowly, he glanced around the quiet bedroom and felt a heaviness in his heart at waking alone. Tossing the covers aside, he searched the scattered clothing on the floor for his boxers but came up blank. Not bothering with any covers, he slipped out of the bedroom and made his way through the quiet cabin. The smell of bacon led him down the hall and he stopped just as he entered the kitchen. Alex was standing with his back to him, dressed only in Michael’s black boxers as he cooked breakfast over the stove. His prosthetic was attached while his crutch stood leaning against the counter. Michael’s gaze caressed over Alex’s slender but firm figure, his eyes darkening at the boxers before he silently made his way forward, slipping his arms around his startled lover.

                “Good Morning,” Alex laughed.

                “I woke up and you were gone. I hate that,” Michael whispered, kissing Alex’s throat and running his hands over the flushed skin.

                Alex tilted his head back at the sensation, moaning softly when he felt Michael harden against his back.

                “Forget to wear something?” he chuckled breathlessly, motioning Michael’s naked body.

                “You’re wearing my boxers.”

                “They were the closest ones I could find,” Alex replied with a blush.

                Michael raised an eyebrow and smirked. “You look good in my clothes. You should wear them all the time.”

                Alex slipped one hand into Michael’s hair, sighing when he felt a bite against his neck.

                “Like you wore mine?”

                “Yeah, just like that,” Michael smiled. “Only boxers are more intimate. Seeing you in mine is driving me crazy right now.”

                “I’m trying to be sweet by cooking you breakfast,” Alex said, motioning the sizzling food on the stove.

                “I’m not hungry for food,” Michael whispered, his voice rough. “Come back to bed.”

                “We had sex three times last night,” Alex reminded him breathlessly, moaning again when he felt Michael reach down and massage him through the boxers.

                “That’s not enough,” Michael replied, pressing himself closer against Alex. “I want to be inside you, baby. Please come back to bed.”

                Before Alex could reply, a surprised yelp captured their attention.

                “Woah, Guerin! That’s a side of you I never wanted to see,” Kyle exclaimed.

                Michael growled and faced the source of their interruption while Alex self-consciously ducked his head and put a step of space between them.

                “You need something, Valenti?”

                “Yeah, _food_. I’m starving,” Kyle replied before taking a seat at the counter.

                “Dude, seriously?” Michael grumbled. “I’m trying to have sex.”

                “Michael!” Alex scolded, his cheeks turning an even darker shade of red.

                “Dude, it’s _my_ cabin,” Kyle reminded. “Besides, common areas are off limits.”

                Before Michael could snap back, Alex twisted around. “Please go get dressed.”

                He came to object but the pleading look in Alex’s eyes made him bite his tongue.

                “Mood killer,” he grumbled at Kyle and stormed towards the bedroom.

                “Sorry about that,” Alex apologized quietly.

                Kyle watched him for a moment before smiling. “Love is love, man. Don’t apologize for it.”

                “That’s quite a change to your tune,” Alex commented after a pause.

                “It’s always been my tune. I was just too much of a scared, dumb kid to say it back then.”

                When Alex didn’t reply, Kyle grew serious.

                “I really am sorry, man. I know it will take a long time for me to make it up to you, but I want to if you’ll let me. You were my best friend when we were kids. It’s taken me a long time to realize it, but I really do miss you.”

                Alex released a breath he was holding, surprised by the admission. He studied Kyle for a long moment before making a decision.

                “You didn’t just treat me like crap, Kyle. You were cruel. It was bad enough with what I had to put up with at home but to have my own best friend turn against me like that, it’s not easy for me to let that anger go,” he started, and Kyle looked down ashamed. “I’ve seen you the past few weeks and I do think that you’ve changed. I think you’re a better man now, but things won’t just go back to the way they were overnight, if at all.”

                “I know,” Kyle agreed, looking back up. “Let me try.”

                Alex hesitated for a few seconds before sighing. “It will take a lot of beers and I mean _a lot_. Even then, no promises.”

                Kyle’s face broke into a grin, his confidence returning.

                “Totally, man,” he said, leaning across the counter to pat Alex on his shoulder just as Michael walked back out to them, wearing his jeans but still bare on top.

                When he stopped at Alex, he draped a long black robe across his shoulders, pulling him in to tie it at the waist.

                “Do you think it’s big enough?” Alex chuckled, motioning how the robe covered him all the way to his toes.

                Michael finished tying the robe before he leaned into his ear. “I don’t like the thought of anyone else seeing you naked like that.”

                “I wasn’t completely bare. I was wearing your boxers,” Alex whispered, momentarily forgetting that Kyle was sitting a few feet away.

                Michael’s eyes darkened at the words. “For my eyes only.”

                Alex smiled at him fondly and pushed him away, slightly nervous at how easily he could lose himself in Michael even when they weren’t alone. With another glare at Kyle, Michael returned to the bedroom to finish getting dressed.

                “Possessive little shit, isn’t he?” Valenti said with a laugh.

                “Kyle,” Alex began in a warning tone, lowering the temperature on the stove as the food sizzled to completion. “Please don’t bait him.”

                “He makes it so easy,” Kyle chuckled before leaning in to touch Alex’s shoulder again with a kind smile. “I’ll be nice.”

                “Stop touching him,” Michael grumbled, walking back into the kitchen wearing a white tee that showed just the right amount of his toned arms.

                Taking a seat behind the counter, he helped Alex onto the other stool before he pulled him between his legs, leaving a hand at his hip. Alex turned to him as Kyle busied himself with his coffee.

                “Not sure if I should be turned on or tell you off for being so possessive,” he commented with a small smile. “What’s gotten into you?”

                “I just got you back,” Michael said, his free hand playing with the band on Alex’s robe. “I don’t want anyone messing with that.”

                “You do have me, Michael,” Alex whispered, his tone gentle.

                “Are you guys done with the love fest over there? Some of us are hungry,” Kyle complained and turned to Alex with a wink. “Come on, Alex, feed me.”

                “You better stop flirting with him if you know what’s good for you,” Michael tossed in Kyle’s direction.

                “I wasn’t flirting.”

                “He wasn’t flirting,” Alex repeated.

                “If I was flirting, you’d know it,” Kyle added and rolled his eyes when Michael tightened his hold. “Why don’t you just pee on him to mark your territory?”

                “Don’t give him ideas,” Alex laughed as he rose to pile the food onto several platters, scattering them over the counter.

                Kyle immediately began hording a generous amount for himself.

                “Are you going to leave any for the rest of us?” Michael said under his breath.

                “You’re busy with your desert,” Kyle replied with a smirk. “Besides, this is the least you owe me for keeping me awake all night with your enthusiastic moaning.”

                “What?” Alex choked on his coffee as he sat back down. “Please tell me you’re joking.”

                “Nope,” Kyle replied, his grin widening. “Thin walls, man.”

                “Oh God,” Alex said and looked down, burying his face in Michael’s chest.

                “Yeah, you said that a lot last night too,” Kyle added.

                “Valenti, quit it!” Michael growled before turning to Alex and rubbing his back in comfort. “Don’t be embarrassed. It’s an ego boost for me and that should be enough to make you smile.”

                “I’ve never been open like that, Michael. You know that,” Alex said in a small voice and Michael turned serious, pulling him in closer and lowering his voice so only Alex would hear.

                “Last night was beautiful, sweetheart. Please don’t be ashamed,” he said and then raised his voice again. “Just because Valenti’s a pervert that listens to other people screwing all night…”

                “Hey!” Kyle cut in to defend himself, pouring syrup over his pancakes. “I wasn’t _trying_ to listen. You were _loud_. Besides, it wasn’t just me you kept up. Pretty sure it was everyone.”

                “Please kill me now,” Alex groaned.

                Kyle laughed before slipping a slice of crispy bacon in his mouth. The resulting moan, deep from his gut, had both men turn to him in surprise.

                “Oh man, that’s so good,” he groaned, tossing his head back to savor the taste.

                When he reopened his eyes, Alex and Michael were staring at him wide eyed.

                “Hmm,” Alex began, an easy smile forming. “I forgot you get aroused by food.”

                “What?!” Kyle shot back, scandalized. “I don’t get aroused by food!”

                “Dude, you moaned like someone just gave you the greatest blow job of your life,” Michael commented.

                Kyle looked offended for another few seconds before shrugging.

                “What can I say, I like good food,” he said and groaned again when he took another bite. “Seriously though, Alex, if I ever switch teams, I’d go for you just for the cooking alone.”

                “Valenti, I swear, I will make you feel so much pain,” Michael warned him.

                Kyle chuckled good naturedly just as the sound of shuffled feet sounded from the hall. Alex quickly grew rigid, separating himself from Michael who frowned. Without offering an excuse, he limped to the stove and threw a new patch of bacon and eggs in the pan.

                “Morning, all,” Isobel greeted, moving towards the coffee to pour herself and a yawning Noah two cups.

                Behind them were Liz and Maria, both dressed in their pajamas with their hairs tied back loosely. Max filtered in at the end, his hair sticking up in a way that made Kyle snicker into his cup. Michael rose to his feet and walked to Alex, placing a hand on his back as he leaned in.

                “Are you okay?” he asked, feeling Alex tense at his touch.

                “No PDA,” he whispered without looking up. “Maria.”

                Before Michael could reply, Alex loaded the second batch of food onto the platters and switched off the stove.

                “Eat up before it gets cold. I’m going to take a shower,” he addressed the group, his eyes lowered as he made his way out of the kitchen.

                Michael made a move to follow but Maria held her hand up and followed Alex instead. Peeking inside his bedroom, she saw him standing at the dresser, gripping the edges tight.

                “Hey sweetie,” she greeted, and he quickly turned to face her. “Before you say anything, let me talk first.”

                He took a deep breath and nodded, and she took a step towards him.

                “I get why you never told me about Michael. He explained a bit to me but not all the details,” she began. “You and I were always close, Alex. I wish you would have come to me. Michael didn’t have to be your only safe spot.”

                “I’m sorry,” he said, his shoulders sagging.  

                “I knew your relationship with your dad wasn’t the best but the extent of what you were going through, I wish you would have talked to me.”

                “I just didn’t want anyone treating me differently back then. It was hard enough with everything else.”

                “Alex, you’re one of my best friends. That’s a bond for life,” she reminded him. “Nothing you do can change that and definitely not anything that was done _to_ you.”

                He nodded his head and offered her a small smile before sighing.

                “Maria, about Michael,” he started. “I don’t even know where to begin. I’m sorry that you were hurt.”

                “I know. We can both blame Guerin,” she joked, making him laugh. “But really, Alex, you and I are good, I promise.”

                He smiled as she reached out to hold his hand.

                “I want you to know something else. You don’t have to hide your feelings or your relationship because of me, okay? You did enough hiding when we were young and I don’t want that for you,” she exclaimed, squeezing his hand. “I love that you are happy, and I want you to be.”

                Alex released a deep breath before they leaned in and hugged tightly. Moving back, she tipped his chin up with her finger like she always did, making his smile widen.

                “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to fight Kyle off for some food,” she winked and made her way back to the kitchen. “Hands off the pancakes, Valenti!”

                Alex shook his head before closing his eyes, willing himself to relax. He smiled when he felt a pair of arms pull him into a strong embrace seconds later.

                “Are you okay?” Michael asked cautiously.

                Alex opened his eyes and leaned back. “I am now.”

                Michael’s tension melted away and he pulled Alex back towards him. “Come here, sweetheart.”

                He began untying Alex’s robe, pushing it off his shoulders and running his hands up and down the warm skin.

                “What about everyone else?” Alex asked, his eyes glazing over.

                “They don’t matter,” Michael replied, gently pulling Alex towards the bed and laying him down on his back. “Just you and me right now.”

                He removed his own shirt and pulled off his jeans. Moving to the door, he made sure it was locked before walking back to the bed, smiling when he saw the way Alex’s darkened eyes followed him. Climbing on top, he straddled his legs and reached down to caress Alex’s face, making the man under him melt. When Alex reached out to pull him down, Michael shook his head and sat back.

                “This is just for you right now. I want to make you feel good, okay?”

                Once Alex nodded, Michael leaned down to press a kiss against his naval before reaching for his leg and removing the prosthetic, lowering it to the ground. Lifting the stump, he gently began to massage the skin, pressing soft kisses against the scars. Overwhelmed, Alex tossed his arm over his eyes to shield his tears, but Michael reached up and pulled his arm away.

                “I know you’ve been through a lot of pain and your thinking won’t change overnight,” he began. “But I need you to hear me, Alex. You’re beautiful. Every part of you is.”

                When Alex released a shaky breath, Michael lifted his hand with his own mangled one, pressing a kiss over the knuckles.

                “I’ll keep reminding you that for as long as it takes until you believe me. What we have isn’t dirty or wrong and I’ll never let anyone make you think that again.”

                Smiling up at him, Alex pulled their linked hands to his mouth and pressed his own kiss to Michael’s scars. Smiling sweetly, Michael tugged Alex’s boxers down, tossing it to the floor before pressing tender kisses against the skin of his thighs. Alex tilted his head back, the gentleness of Michael’s touch slowly setting him on fire. He felt another kiss against either knee before Michael worked his way back up his body. When he lowered himself to cover him, Alex gasped when he felt Michael’s hardness against his own with no fabric between them. Widening his legs, he pulled Michael into his arms, kissing him languidly as they rocked their bodies together. Once they had both been worked to the edge, Michael reached for the nightstand when Alex grabbed his arm.

                “No condoms.”

                Michael sat back in silence, a question in his eyes.

                “I haven’t been with anyone else in years. Not really a great prospect when you’re disfigured like I am,” Alex admitted, looking down.

“Alex…,” Michael began but he shook his head to cut him off.

“I still got tested a week after I got back to town. It wasn’t because I expected anything, but being back here, so close to you, I think deep down I just hoped.”

                Michael caressed his cheek, tilting his gaze up to meet his.

                “I got tested three days ago. I’m clean too,” he said, smiling sheepishly. “Guess you weren’t the only hopeful one.”

                They shared an embarrassed chuckle before Alex interlocked their fingers.

                “No more condoms,” he repeated. “I don’t want any barriers between us anymore.”

                Michael’s pupils dilated at the words and he quickly reached for the lube. Pressing a single kiss over Alex’s heart, he leaned back to work him open, the sounds of Alex’s quiet moans setting his whole body on fire. Once he was three fingers inside, he moved up the bed and lifted Alex’s good leg to wrap around his body. Alex closed his arms around Michael’s shoulders, and they buried their faces in each other’s necks before Michael slid inside. They gasped at the feeling of absolute closeness and tightened their hold on one another. Running his hands through Michael’s hair, Alex slid his fingers down his back, caressing him as Michael moved in and out. The room was silent with nothing but the sounds of their breathless moans.

                “I love you so much,” Michael whispered, pressing kisses into Alex’s neck.

                The tender, loving pace gradually pushed them towards the edge. Feeling the love in his heart swell at the thought of having Michael like this forever, Alex pushed his lover’s head up, kissing him over his heart before sliding their mouths together. It took a few more thrusts before they came together, both muffling their cries in each other’s shoulders. As their heartbeats slowly began to calm, Michael kissed the soft moan from Alex’s lips when he gently pulled out. Rolling onto his back, he gathered a shaking Alex into his arms, wrapping the covers around their bodies and ignoring the mess between them.

                “Are you okay?” he whispered, kissing whatever skin he could reach. “Are you warm enough?”

                “I love you,” Alex replied, burying his face into Michael’s neck, overwhelmed by the depth of his emotions.

                “I love you back,” he repeated, drawing comforting patterns into Alex’s skin.

                Tilting his head back, Michael smiled down at his soulmate.

                “I need to tell you something.”

 

                ************

 

                Michael sat on the edge of the bed, nervously staring at a silent Alex who had his back leaned against the headboard. Five minutes had passed but Alex continued to stare at him, wide-eyed. As the seconds ticked by and Alex remained still, Michael’s nerves grew, and he secretly berated himself for ever opening his mouth.

                “Please say something,” he pleaded, reaching out for the other man’s hand but pulling back at the last second.

                “You’re an alien,” Alex finally said. “An _alien_?”

                “Yes,” Michael breathed out.

                Alex tilted his head and his expression changed from shocked to thoughtful.

                “Huh.”

                “Huh?” Michael repeated, confused. “That’s it? Just ‘huh’?”

                “Would you rather I freak out and leave the room?”

                “No!” Michael cried, the mere thought bringing an ache to his heart. “But please say something more than ‘huh’.”

                Alex watched him for a long time, studying his face as Michael stared back, trying his hardest to keep his tears at bay. Eventually, Alex relaxed against the headboard.

                “A lot of things make sense now.”

                “What do you mean by that?” Michael asked cautiously.

                Alex let him squirm for another moment before slowly smiling.

                “Back in high school, when things would get hot and heavy, I thought I’d see things floating around us,” he explained as Michael stared at him with wide, frightened eyes. “On prom night, when we made love for the first time, I could have sworn at one point we were levitating off the bed a few inches. But then you hit my prostate and I came, and I just chucked it off to an orgasm-induced hallucination.”

                Michael blinked at the revelation, speechless and frozen in his spot.

                “Besides, then my dad showed up and you know the rest. Kind of forgot about the levitating part,” Alex added as an afterthought.

                He looked up to see Michael’s shaking body and quickly reached out to take his hand.

                “Hey, it’s okay,” he soothed him.

                “I just, I don’t get it,” Michael said, forcing his body to still. “How are you so calm? I just dropped a crazy bombshell on you and you’re just sitting there.”

                “Michael,” Alex began, pulling the other man closer to him and holding his gaze. “I love _you_. I love your heart and your body and your mind, everything that makes you who you are.”

                The conviction behind his words made Michael release a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding.

                “As long as you don’t secretly turn into a green Martian with large, beady eyes,” Alex added, wanting to ease the tension.

                Shaking his head at the attempted joke, Michael dove forward and pulled Alex into his arms. Straddling his legs, he buried his face in Alex’s neck, cradling the other man against him.

                “I was so afraid I’d lose you.”

                “You’ll never lose me, Michael. Never again,” Alex promised, pushing his head back to see his face. “If my psychotic father can’t keep us apart, what’s a little UFO business?”

                Michael laughed at his words before pulling him into a long, bruising kiss. Pressing their foreheads together, they breathed each other in as Michael slowly began to relax.

                “Don’t get me wrong. I have about a million questions,” Alex chuckled. “But I won’t come at you with them all at once.”

                “You’re honestly okay with this?” Michael asked, needing the confirmation.

                Alex pulled him in and kissed him with a desire that made Michael’s toes curl.

                “You’re stuck with me now, Guerin. Can’t get rid of me that easy anymore,” he said with a smile.

                Michael smiled back and pulled him into another warm embrace, peppering the sides of his face with sweet kisses. When they pulled back, Alex suddenly froze.

                “My dad,” he exclaimed, eyes widening. “Oh shit, my dad!”

                “What are you talking about?”

                Alex scrambled away, reaching for his prosthetic. As he hurriedly tied it on and slipped on his jeans, Michael grabbed for his own pants.

                “Alex, please talk to me.”

                “Kyle!” Alex shouted instead.

                “Why are you calling _him_?” Michael demanded, rushing to zip himself up.

                Seconds later, Kyle opened the door and walked in, rolling his eyes at their state of undress.

                “Seriously, guys?” he asked as Alex limped to the door and shut it tight.

                “Michael just told me the truth.”

                “About what?” Kyle asked, one brow quirked up.

                “About who he really is, where he’s from,” Alex replied. “Alien, Kyle.”

                “What?! I thought it was only Max,” Kyle exclaimed, staring at Michael wide-eyed.

                “Max is an alien too?” Alex asked.

                “Does Isobel make three?” Kyle added.

                “Everyone just stop!” Michael exclaimed, taking a deep breath and facing Kyle. “How much do you really know?”

                “Up until ten seconds ago, only that Max was an alien. Dude, all three of you?” he replied before facing Alex. “Why are you not freaking out about this more?”

                “Honestly, I think I’m just immune to earth-shattering realities at this point.”

                “Dude, this is kind of a big one,” Kyle insisted.

                “Can we all just be grateful I’m _not_ freaking out and stop insisting that I should?” Alex snapped, reaching for his crutch.

                Seeing his discomfort, Michael rushed forward and brought the crutch to him. Alex nodded his thanks before taking Michael’s hand in his, squeezing it in assurance.

                “Last week, before you and I met up at the bar, Kyle showed up at the cabin and gave some excuse about wanting to look around. We ended up finding a secret hatch that led to a bedroom. Kyle thought his father had been having an affair with Rosa, Liz’s sister, but I think he was actually helping her out, detoxing her back to health.”

                Michael tossed Kyle a glance before nodding for Alex to continue.

                “When he left, there was a symbol I noticed on the lamp in the room that was bothering me. I went back down and when I switched on the lamp, it kind of illuminated the symbol onto the wall. I broke through and there was a piece of glass inside. It lit up with lights and crazy numbers and symbols when I touched it.”

                Michael gasped. “It lit when you touched it?”

                “Yeah,” Alex replied, unable to understand the glazed look in Michael’s eyes.

                “Why didn’t you tell me?” Kyle cut in.

                “First, because you and I just started talking again and second, because I overheard my father talking to you about Project Shepherd. I dug around and realized my dad was working on the 1947 crash.”

                Michael’s expression sobered at his words and he turned to Kyle.

                “What the hell is Sergeant Manes looking into?”

                Kyle sighed heavily before tilting his head to the door.

                “I think this should probably be a conversation for everyone.”

                “Does everyone else know?” Alex asked, surprised.

                “Just Liz. Max told her because he’s a lovesick puppy when it comes to her and then she came to me and thought Max killed Rosa. It was a big whole thing,” Kyle said, shaking his head. “Maria and Noah still need to be clued in though.”

                He turned and walked out as Alex limped towards his bag. Pulling a tightly wrapped package from under his clothes, he removed the glass and turned towards Michael. The piece began to shine brightly in his hands.

                “Michael, what is it?” Alex asked, seeing the sudden tears in the other man’s eyes.

                Instead of responding, Michael yanked Alex to him and kissed him hard before wrapping him up in a bruising hug.

                “I love you. I love you. I love you,” he repeated over and over, kissing him again.

                “I love you too,” Alex said through his confusion.

                “I’ll explain it all to you after, but the glass doesn’t light up for just anyone,” Michael said, pressing their foreheads together. “I love you so much.”

                They spent another few seconds taking comfort in their closeness until Michael reached for both of their shirts. Once they were dressed, Michael pulled Alex to him and kissed him a final time before they walked out together, alien tech in hand. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading :)


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